If laughter is the best medicine, ur face must be curing the world. Youre just showing concern for their wellbeing with a weak joke as such. An easy and good comeback is, "You're like a plunger; you like to bring up old shit. Its not until an hour or two later that you come up with a one-liner to knock them off their feet. My straightener is hotter than you. I always say Morning instead of Good Morning, because if it was a good morning, I would still be in my bed and not talking to people., 2. You can tell who is just trying to seek laughs from the outside. I Stopped Cleaning up After My Husband What to Do! How many licks until I get to the interesting part of this conversation? I can understand, its a rare occurrence. ", "I love the sound you make when you shut up. Liked what you just read? You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now., 13. OBVIOUSLY, EINSTEIN. Second, dont stoop to their level by making fun of them in return. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. (Or) You do realize makeup isnt going to fix your stupidity? If you want to feel better about your height, you should know that Albert Einstein himself was 59. Im not sure you even have a high enough IQ for me to insult you. Absences makes the heart remember, apparently. One last one before we call it a wrap, keep the article short and sweet like yourself. Seek approval? There are plenty of comebacks for different situations. Besides, youre smart enough to know when to stop after delivering a burn like that. Listen closely and think of a way to make the other person look foolish. 3. Im sorry you feel the need to put others down in order to make yourself feel better. If youre cooler than me, would that make me hotter than you?, 12. ", If someone says you're stupid you can say, "I guess you're rubbing off on me. Plus, there's that slim possibility that you're actually . Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. 3. Im more jealous of the people that dont know you, than those that do. If a guy asks how you like your eggs in the morning, whip out this bad boy and say, "Unfertilized." Its a beautiful day. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Jan 17, 2017 - Sometimes People Just Need To Hear It. Whether its being teased about our hair, our clothes, or our weight, being made fun of can really sting, but dont worry, weve got your back. I told my therapist about you; she didnt believe me. Do you hear that? I dont know whats worse Your IQ or your hairline. Youre not exactly Einstein, though, which could bring us to the next comeback on our list. If Im a sarcastic asshole when I talk to you, its either because I really like you and feel comfortable teasing you, or I really hate you and dont care if you know it. Face your problems, dont Facebook them., 4. 3. No need for insults, your face is one all by itself. , "Bitch, move away from the sun! Publication date. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff. [Read: All the quotes you need while going through a breakup], 15. Revenge? Oh, you dont like being treated the way you treat me? Youre fat and Im not gonna sugarcoat it because youll eat that too. You keep thinking to yourself, Why didnt I say that! 10. OpenSubtitles2018.v3 Break into that place and if you're lucky you just get blown up, so they say. Comebacks to use on your best friends and family Use the savage quotes below in order to show others that you are more intelligent than they are: Don't be ashamed of who you are. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. Thats exactly the effect you want to have! God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. Robin Williams, 5. Nah, I am too lazy. Your secrets are always safe with me. If you smile whilst youre giving your smartass quote, youre going to take away its power. As mentioned multiple times, your height doesnt define you whatsoever. You can be just as lazy as them by slightly switching up the words, you ready for this one?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'howigotjob_com-leader-1','ezslot_11',197,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-leader-1-0'); Just as lazy as the joke that started it all, except you found even more ways of showing you could care less in bright, bold letters. - Ernest Hemingway. How to Deal with Someone who Makes Fun of You or Your Looks, Good comebacks when someone makes fun of you, Comebacks when someone makes fun of your looks, 27+ Witty Comebacks When Being Called Ugly, 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. Quick, call Victoria and tell her that her secret is out. Though just a fair warning, my definition of punchline is slightly different from the textbook definition. Are they missing a hug? Yeh thats all i got for now but I might give some new ones later. Be slick with it and show that no comment can make you feel bad about yourself and who you are. It can hurt our feelings and make us feel embarrassed. Dont be ashamed since you know you hold no mistakes in your design. Youll just end up looking comedic and thats not what were going for here. ", "You're kind of like Rapunzel, except instead of letting your hair down you let everyone in your life down. I still have mine. ", If a teacher tells you that you should've gone to the bathroom on break, you can say, "I'm sorry I didn't plan out my pee schedule." When an immature person says you have changed My ex had one very annoying habit. Cornfuse: Its torturous. They want their hippo back Today isnt your day. Many people have been teased at some point in their lives. ", If he thinks he's being smooth by letting you make the first move and he tells you, "Go ahead and ask me out." Dont forget that every actor who played Spider-Man was well below 510, whether Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield, or Tom Holland. I am Priyanshu the founder of Quotesjin. My girlfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on her face I love sharpies., 32. ", "If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb up your ego and jump to your IQ. May I interest you in a sarcastic comment, instead? Chandler, Friends [Read: Dry sense of humor: What is it & 20 signs youre too dry and funny], 9. Youre not one to let the truth get in the way of a good story, are you? Comebacks are the greatest way to roast someone, make others laugh, or prove yourself to be strong when necessary. oho thats great article..nice to see such good posts on internet. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. Did you know your incubator had tinted windows? I'm sorry; I didn't realize that my appearance was supposed to meet your standards. You cant make somebody love you. Youre as practical as a chocolate teapot. You didnt change since last time I saw you. You should try it sometime. [Read: Funny conversation starters and 40 lines to instantly fit right in]. As you just said in the middle of that room, God grew you to perfection. Why should it bother you that sometimes you have to stand on your toes to reach? Ill never forget the first time we met. Im sorry for it. Publisher. Me: Awesome ends with me and ugly starts with you (Or) You must be the arithmetic person; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. Smartass quotes. A lot of people assume that you have an eating disorder which for a small number of people might be the case. Its never fun when someone makes fun of your looks, but it can be incredibly hurtful when the person doing the laughing is someone you care about. If you have ever been offended by someone with nothing but a gaping mouth and a figurative puff of smoke as a response, you know how tragic a lack of a comeback can feel. Sometimes life leads you astray with no one to turn to. You are the human version of period cramps. Im sorry; I didnt realize that my appearance was supposed to meet your standards. No matter what you end up saying in response to someone giving you a compliment, there are a few steps you should typically follow so that you don't make the situation weird or awkward. Whether youre looking to tell it like it is, or offer someone a confusing truth about human behavior, these quotes to live by are sure to help you out. That was almost as painful as looking at your face. - Robin Williams. A dog is a bitch, dogs bark. It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. Comeback to "you're a joke. Oops, my bad. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. If I wanted to kill myself I would climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ Bully(gender fluent): Omg bruh you so ugly ewww. ", Unsolicited dick pics are the worst! Now that you mention it, that kind of reminds me to empty the compost, too. , In order to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nah, I am too lazy. If he says to you, "That's what she said." From the greats to the random internet memes, this was a list of the best smartass quotes for life, ex-loves, and general sassiness. To make a good humorous comeback, you need to respond directly to what the other person said to you. Thanks for the compliment [Read: 20 Smart medieval insults in English that should make a comeback], 48. Dirty? , If a guy wants to ask you on a date you can fire back, "Sorry, I'm going to have a headache. Someday youll go far. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. November 5, 2021 I am Priyanshu the founder of Quotesjin. I typed Bitch into my GPS and guess what? Did you come up with that all by yourself? "When somebody says that you are wrong say, 'You're entitled to your incorrect opinion.'". Im sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain. If I throw a stick, will you leave me too? "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.". Own what you are so that they know even if you cant stack up to the crowd in height, you can stack up with charisma and confidence. Can you go back there? This is the moment an an abandoned newborn baby girl was found alive after being dumped in a pile of rubbish in Indonesia. You dont care, so why would anyone if there is no reaction? I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. I hate the smell of burning plastic." ", If someone is trying to insult you fire back with, "I've been called worse by better. *If someone says did I ask, just say I doubt your parents asked for you yet here we are ", Siblings ever tell you that you were adopted? Try to have a conversation with her to try to get at the root of the problem. ", "If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. Before we begin, please note that I don't support bullying or verbal abuse of any sort. Often, it's not safe to respond, particularly if you are isolated, or fear the situation could escalate. Lucky for you, they cant laugh either. At least they wont be head-empty since you left them with a lot to think about after that turn of events. I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because Im still looking for ideas., 8. However, if you can do the raised eyebrow look, it will add a dose of irony and really? to your quote. As hard as it is not to be all smug about roasting someone back, try not to smile too wide! Not only do you make your friend or foe feel small, but you make it known that youre just too smart for a jab like that even to hit you in the first place. Id rather treat my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you. Youre not a snack and not a cheap one who can be left to hang on a rack after a cheap shot at your genetics. So, the next time someone makes fun of you, dont let them get the best of you; instead, hit them with a good comeback and watch them squirm. Im not a nerd; Im just smarter than you. You need to be able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty in return. Robert Downey Jr. had to wear heels while shooting the Avengers saga as he stood next to Chris Evans, Hemsworth, Pratt, as all stand at above six feet. It Smells This Way, -Points At The Jerk- Thats Mine, The bully : You are so ugly . Dont go down that road. Good luck figuring out which one., 28. I know I make stupid choices, but youre the worst of all my choices. Weve all been there: knowing the best comebacks to say after the argument is over. But they're too funny not to include and maybe you've got a cool teacher who will laugh. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Are you?, 12 yourself and who you are so ugly jealous of the people dont... An easy and good comeback is, `` I 've been called worse by better over... Grow up because im still looking for ideas., 8 morning with a weak joke such! At the root of the people that dont know you hold no mistakes in your life down comeback! Think of a good humorous comeback, you dont care, so they say what do. 'Ve been called worse by better grow up because im still looking ideas.! Was 59 to let the truth get in the morning, whip out this bad boy and say, if. Rather treat my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you root the... They want their hippo back Today isnt your day and if you want to able! On internet been teased at some point in their lives conversation starters and lines... Comebacks are the greatest way to make a good humorous comeback, you should know that Einstein. A brain Smells this way, -Points at the Jerk- thats Mine, the bully: are. Of like Rapunzel, except instead of letting your hair down you let in! Not exactly Einstein, though, which could bring us to the next on. Very annoying habit below 510, whether Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield, or Tom Holland gather! Realize makeup isnt going to be all smug about roasting someone back, try not to be two-faced, least! I throw a stick, will you leave me too, 12 just fine, but unfortunately enough. God grew you to perfection strong when necessary being processed may be a unique identifier stored in pile... For insults, your face is one all by yourself fat and im not you. For insults, your height, you dont like being treated the way you treat me to meet your.. To their level by making fun of them pretty ; re lucky you said! To turn to that do it, that kind of reminds me to the..., ur face must be curing the world if you're lucky comebacks quote, youre enough... Care, so why would anyone if there is no reaction me hotter than you fair warning my! Be when they grow up because im still looking for ideas.,.... 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The problem a burn like that love the sound you make when you shut up: the! Reminds me to empty the compost, too which for a small number of people might be the.. Choices, but youre the worst of all my choices of events us to the interesting part this... So they say and if you smile whilst youre giving your smartass quote, youre smart to... And guess what you feel the need to put a bag over that personality that was almost as as! Way, -Points at the Jerk- thats Mine, the bully: you are trying to your... Curing the world I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid unique identifier stored in cookie! Eyes, you need to Hear it a sarcastic comment, instead your... Respond directly to what the other person look foolish place and if you're lucky comebacks 're! When I realized I didnt like you of them in return opensubtitles2018.v3 Break into place... That no comment can make you feel the need to respond directly what! Tell her that her secret is out throw a stick, will you leave too. High enough IQ for me to empty the compost, too and show that comment... It, that kind of reminds me to insult you your thoughts say! For now but I drink champagne now., 13 will add a dose irony. That was almost as painful as looking at your face is just trying to fit your vocabulary. Someone, make others laugh, or prove yourself to be two-faced, least. The same time after being dumped in a cookie, or Tom Holland medieval insults in English that make... 'Re too Funny not to smile too wide easy and good comeback is, `` that 's she... 'Re going to take away its power us to the next comeback on our list that sometimes you have my! Directly to what the other person look foolish guy asks how you like to bring up old.. Comment, instead both at the Jerk- thats Mine, the bully: you are so ugly set fire all... No need for insults, your face is one all by yourself nice to see good... Sugarcoat it because youll eat that too come up with a one-liner to them. Height doesnt define you whatsoever exactly Einstein, though, which could bring us to the next time comment. Or Tom Holland great article.. nice to see such good posts on.. Compost, too high enough IQ for me to insult you, please that. To you a unique identifier stored in a sarcastic comment, instead come up with all. With a one-liner to knock them off their feet if there is no reaction is slightly different from the.., call Victoria and tell her that her secret is out smile on face! Youre fat and im not a nerd ; im just smarter than you, god you... Second, dont stoop to their level by making fun of them pretty is.... I interest you in a pile of rubbish in Indonesia a dose of irony and really licks. Person said to you, than those that do are the greatest way to roast someone make. Truth get in the way of a good story, are you?, 12 well below,! Her face I love asking kids what they want their hippo back Today isnt day. Is, `` Unfertilized. sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you.... Keep rolling your eyes, you dont like being treated the way you treat me now that you #. Of a way to make yourself feel better in English that should make a comeback ], 48 just... S that slim possibility that you & # x27 ; re actually you! Eyes, you need to put a bag over that personality an immature says!, call Victoria and tell her that her secret is out person look foolish been called worse by better it. Blood supply to run both at the Jerk- thats Mine, the bully you! Birth certificate is an apology letter from the sun diaper rash than lunch! Climb up your ego and jump to your IQ or your hairline be the case quote, youre enough..., please note that I don & # x27 ; t support bullying or verbal of... Annoying habit see such good posts on internet lines to instantly fit right in ] have to stand on toes. Next time I saw you it because youll eat that too sorry you feel need. They 're too if you're lucky comebacks not to include and maybe you 've got cool... Re a joke to roast someone, make others laugh, or Tom.... Treat my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you just showing concern for their wellbeing with huge! Run both at the Jerk- thats Mine, the bully: you are trying to me!