I will try that and let everyone know how it goes. Why does she prefer her father when he can go a whole week without ever seeing her? Eventually I had to admit that this was not helping either her or me and quit with breastfeeding, something that hurts me to my core. Though it is nice to know Im not the only one to suffer from a similar situation, it doesnt solve it. Nursing strikes happen for many reasons. I work full time and my one-year-old goes to daycare 3 days per week and stays at home with her dad 2 days per week. I do the same, care, dress, cook, feed, bottle. Take her to a playground or to watch the dogs in a park or whatever she might enjoy. Can a baby NOT like their mom? even though i felt rejected i didnt stop trying to hold her or trying to play with her. You sound so sad and worried and writing the first few months were black makes me suspect that you were (and maybe still are) suffering from a postpartum depression. It is good to know you are not the only one it is a hard thing to talk to anyone about so great to have a place to come and be honest with your feelings ..thank you. Try carrying your baby's photo with you at your workplace. I found the updates especially helpful, so I thought Id return the favour and post mine too. Or is my situation just too unique? thank you for writing tips on coping. You sound like you are in very bad emotional shape. She just wants me to go away from her. Am a single mum living with my parents. I am so sad. I jokingly say she sees me as the grim reaper of sleep, but I think its true, and it really hurts. Tonight, he did not want to come to me she had to push him on me! They live in the moment and cannot cope with the longing, because they have no real sense of time. It is not your fault that the first few months were very tough. He sometimes SCREAMS when I try to take him, just clings to his dad and screams. I couldnt see it coming and this is my first child, I love him very much, but this reaction I get from him is very unpleasant and hurtful to me. If grandad isnt there he wants to no me but if he is there he just blanks me, i try my hardest to try get his attention with no luck he just ignores me & blanks me. Parenthood is a great opportunity for personal development! She is my first child and she is the most pleasant little thing ever so I dont understand why she doesnt all of the sudden not want nothing to do with me. Shes the most amazing thing in the world. my love for her isnt based on her feelings for meeven though reciprocation would be nice. I feel your pain. But from what you write, it sounds like this is a fairly new thing? I have a 1yr-old son and he just started this him not wanting me always want the other family member that is around. Its putting a lot of strain on our relationship. The "opt out" revolution of high-earning women exiting the labor force to have babies, widely publicized in the early 2000s, may have been overstated. I have a 11 month old little girl. there babys there used to those that give them there needs and time and attention Im going on my 3rd baby and what i find affective is how the care provider response when you get there Im always excited and hug and kiss daddy when he is home and thats how my children respond they love daddy but when they want or need something its always mommy and believe me some time i want it to be daddy, MY YEAR OLD DAUGHTER PREFERS ANYONE BUT ME, EVEN THO I BREAST FEED, AND DO EVERYTHING FOR HER IN GENERAL, I TRY NO TO SPOIL HER BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONLY DAUGHTER, GRAND DAUGHTER, NICE AND SO ON I NEVER HAD A POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION SO IT CANT BE THATIM LAID OFF SO IM WITH HER 24/7 NO ONE HAS EVER BABY SET HER I DONT HAVE MY PARENTS NEAR OR ANY FAMILY, BUT MY HUSBAND FAMILY COME OVER AROUND TWICE A WEEK I ALWAYS WANTED HER TO BE OPEN WITH PEOPLE AND NOT TO BE SHY SO I THAGTH HER TO LOVE EVERY ONE ESPECIALLY HER GRANDMOTHER BUT NOW I THINK I DID MISTAKE WITH THAT BECAUSE IT SEEMS THAT SHE DOESNT LOVE ME ANY MORE :( IS DEPRESSING ME NOW PLEASE HELP ME..IAM OPEN TO ANY ADVICES THANK YOU. I feel like why I didnt die when she was born. You are likely to mean total security for your daughter and maybe she just knows that you are there for her, so that she doesnt really need to be with you when exciting (in her mind) dad is there. me and my partner were separated for awhile while i gave birth and then 7 months after that could she be missing my parents who are in a other country or is it something else. Do whatever it takes to push her to her place. Now my problem seems to be that she doesnt like me very much, I think myabe she remembers my tears and frustration with her and cant forgive me. Dear mom, do you think that you might be suffering from a postpartum depression? He even prefers strangers arms over mine sometimes, like my gardener or one time the carpet cleaning guy. I was nothing more than a pain in the ass to her. Every experience is different, but generally, it takes around six weeks to feel relief from most postpartum symptoms after having a baby. He has always preferred my husband I too have PND but I feel the fog lifting and now I am not sure if I should see anyone or not. I feel like there is something I didnt do or that there is something Im not doing, but know matter what it is , its breaking my heart. When I do leave him he doesnt even notice. I mean, how could we not be depressed when our babies seem to reject us? New moms might think it's just weight gain, lack of sleep, or nerves, causing . In addition, you could leave a used t-shirt them, to be used for naptime, for example, so your smell is as familiar as possible. Its my first baby and this hurts sooo much inside seeing it happen everyday. I often wonder if it was like a viscious circle: he didnt want me, I got upset, he didnt want to be around me because I was upset, which made me more upset, which made him even less inclined to be around me and so on and so on. I just want to know what is going on with my child and why she is acting out like this. Anyway, I wish I could say something to ease the burden you are under, just know that a fellow mom out there is empathizing with you. Even though i always play with him and tell him stories and sing to hime and he always sleep holding his hands around my neck . She wouldnt even look at me when I tried to comfort her. Or maybe you will visit your baby at their child care provider during your lunch break and breastfeed. Now, my son doesnt seem to even want me in the room with him any more. At that time he had a painfully obvious bond with my partner to the exclusion of me. 7) Be patient with yourselfat home and at work. I still want my mommy on bad days. Try feeding in a close and cuddled up position. Consider co-sleeping, where your daughter sleeps between the two of you. yes its also my in-laws first grand child but at times i feel there are selffish. However, he understands that its also for the best as now i can console her when she is sick or having a tummy ache etc without having 2 call daddy via the internet. No that he is born she is so pushy, she since birth has whisked him away when he would cry and always play with him more than me and he seems to bond or smile or laugh more with her. I rush home to see her and she cries/moans when she sees me I hold my hands out to her and she clings to whoever she is with at the time. Since your baby just recently started to reject you, you dont have to worry about the overall bonding with your baby. Warming the nipple (just run it under warm water) may help, too. Hi my 9 1/2 month old boy is with me all day since birth now daddy is home with me since he got laid off I do everything for him. But reading your posts about a mothers unconditional love made me realise that this is all what a mothers love is about and I feel comforted by the fact that I do my very best for him. She is in love, so to say, and wants to be with you all the time. i leave for college and am out of the house by 5am he doesnt realize im even gone but when i come back at 11am hes fine and playing with grandma untile he sees me and i go give him a hug and kiss and im ready to play and its like a switch he starts crying for hours! I have also now noticed that she is being the same with both grandmothers, neither of which she sees more than once a week, If I take her off them she cries and goes to them when she is scared etc even if I am next to them. Jemma. I often feel that I could leave any day, never to return and my daughter would never notice. I am not saying that it is easy, but I am saying that it is definitely part of being a parent to be rejected now and then. I try to be a good mum, I stay at home and try to take her out every day to do new things, I play with her and sing her songs. Consider your overall financial picture. I know that nobody is going to want to hear this but your relationship with your child might never be the same if you just ignore it. Tomorrow I am going back to work full time after taking 4 months off to be with my son. Allow a drip or two go into your baby's mouth, then try to insert the bottle nipple into your baby's mouth. Regardless of how strong the bond between your and your daughter is today, and the reasons for the situation, if you continue to love her and spend time with her alone and with other, things will improve. Imagine what a huge change has just happened to your daughter, getting a new home, new parents, new environment. Just recently he has started clinging to Daddy again, and I noticed that it was coinciding with feeling quite homesick (I live abroad, far away from my parents and siblings). My Mil also doesnt treat me well and still my child goes to her unknowingly. She scratches me especially on the face near my eyes which really hurts she sometimes bites me or cries when i go near her and refuses any toys i might give her also she longer longer enjoys any of the songs i used to sing to her. But 3 weeks ago I got hospitalized. I think there are two things you should do. I am a stay at home mom and breastfed for 6 months and he still preferred his dad. I am with him most of anyone. In ramping up to retuning to work after a parental leave . grandma was kinda showin me the ropes and showin me some tricksi also do alot of running around during the day so grandma watches her.now, when i have her and she gets upset she screams for mme. My best advice is to simply continue to love and care for your child with no expectation for immediate payback in terms of returned affection so to speak. May I ask how your relationship is when dad is not around? And yes, I think that would be great for many reasons. Create boundaries and routines that support ample family and . you are a good mother. . I am so devastated by this as I am worried it will affect our relationship long term? She is almost 14 months old and she doesnt seem to want anything to do with me lately. By the way, take a look at these two articles regarding avoiding power struggles at meal time and childrens eating habits to see if they may offer any help regarding making your daughter eat. She returned to work 12 days later because she wanted to save her unpaid leave so she could spend time with Eden after she . She LOVES daycare and when I pick her up, she cries because she doesnt want to leave. In any event, what helped me was to actively and often affirm to myself that I am a GOOD mother. Her grammy says when either their head or tummy is hurting they dont want their mama, but this really concerns me because of how awfully loud she screams. Pace yourself, with paced feeding. And you seem to interpret your daughters behavior as if she is blaming you. which is why I do not understand why he seems to prefer my husband and MIL over me. I also got jealous sometimes, and wanted my baby to love me as much as I love him. thanks again! If you are off balance, she might notice and you thereby reinforce the rejection. for example, is perfect for a baby with separation anxiety. For many adopted children, it certainly IS different t be adopted. I also have a 5 year old daughter and she is the opposite. Here is a little bit about me and my situation (I am very interested if anyone else can relate to me) I was a bit older when I had my son (33 years old) I had a C-section with complications which meant I couldnt be with my son until 3 hours after his birth. My daughter prefers my mother, as she looks after her while Im at college. Anyways here is the question: The childs mother wants to see her but obviously we are afraid shell take off again. Over the 2 years I have been in a terrible custody battle and its still going on right now. I did everything a mom should do with their child. I was a stay at home mom with my girl for the first nine monthsand from the beginning daddys always been better with her. Not to make light of this happening to the dads out there but I think that is more common than the moms as, for the most part, we are the primary caregivers. Since then she went on to refuse bottles, arching and screaming and after 3 months of age it was realises she had acid reflux, she was given meds and eventually this helped. Im the one that takes care of him all the time when he sick has a bad dreamect like today my husband went to work and he cried I went to pick him up he didnt want anything to do with me. But just a few days ago, when she saw my friend (mother of her playdate), she insisted her to pick her up while I was holding her. You are obviously there for your son. It really hurts me. have lost joy in the time with my other son I feel like I just resent him and my husband for being able to make him happy. After reading these posts I made sure to remain absolutely calm and neutral and not get teary or upset when he preferred his daddy over me. Is there any consensus from developmental professionals on why babies reject their moms? I was the only one there up until 7 months and I had hoped it would be enough to ensure our bond, but once home I realized she had forgotten me and wanted nothing to do with me, she is 2 now and still calls my mom, mom and im mommy but she wants nothing to do with me. A couple of things helped: 1) we play her favorite music at very loud volume during the feeding to distract her, 2) we make sure to feed her before she gets very hungry so that she is still in a good mood, 3) we make sure my husband, the caregiver, always gives her the bottle, and 4) we keep trying at different times if she doesn't take the Being a brand new baby with acid reflux, she was in pain trying to eat and probably very frustrated too. When I gave birth for the second time, I not only gave birth to my first son but I also welcomed back an . Quick message to Laura- I dont know what to do. i feeed her ok but after a feed she now just turns over away from me. i relly need some advise before i go crazy please :(. Maybe the little girl should spend less time with someone else if it is causing a problem. After her leather boots and Gucci throw shopping spree she was obviously not able to pay her rent. When my daughter was 7 months old I left for bootcamp, kind of my last resort I was a teen mom and couldnt get a job and had no money and the military provided us a secure future, but now I regret it. Before Baby Comes. There is a worker at her nursery who she is not keen on and she scratched her yesterday which puts me in the same category as her I guess. She's 9 weeks and we started introducing at 4 weeks. Am still have to learn to connect and bond and to feel when he is hungry or tiered or board. I feel bad for the child. she fetches her from pre school to be with her , she does mind going with him but when im there , she even cries, she can take anything that he bring her , bt wont allow him to hold her or talk to him. Time spent together is with no doubt also very important, but above all, continue to show your daughter how much you love her. :) :) :). I am 7 months pregnant again and am terrified that I will cling to this baby in a way to have the bond I dont have with my daughter. Things went downhill from there. you cant help it. Here is the good news: you are not alone. She keeps telling me that shes a bad mother and that our daughter hates her. Anybody who has been the same boat please help in trying to mend things and get my kid to like us both equally. Very hard, even. It won't be easy, but working with dad to share the load becomes much easier. Trust me, I feel it too now and then and husband even more, who has been the one NOT chosen especially by our youngest. Why is that so? i work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Do a workday practice run and consider returning part-time at first if possible. I am in love with my son but I am starting to get severely depressed, spent most of today sporadically crying and avoiding contact with him jus to keep him happy I feel like the house is happier when I am not seen or heard and I am so sad I try not to let him see it but I have gone weeks now where he doesnt want to look at me or talk or play with me. Please dont give up on your babies. Choosing which wars to fight as a parent makes a big difference. I have a 7 month daugher that doesnt seen to want me. Childcare is unaffordable or unavailable, and in a survey by McKinsey & Company, 34% of mothers cited childcare concerns as . Whenever my fiance and I pick up my almost 3 year old daughter from her fathers she cries and clings to her father. Or maybe it is related still not your fault. I am the one who always has to make contact if I want to see her or my grandkids. she still seems to prefer my husband if hes around, but really, when she gets hurt or feels bad, its me she clings to. I hate that she calls my mom mama im nothing to her its breaking my heart please someone help me. I am not looking to be judgedthere is no other way around this o have to work to pay my mortguage and bills, is anyone in this situation that could offer advice ? Use this time to get down on the floor and play with her, take a bath together, read her a story, curl up in bed and tell her a bed story or sing to her or do whatever she loves doing. Moms Question: In the morning, can you and your daughter get dressed together before you meet the others? At the same time, he prefers his moms presence and shows it. When my husband comes home she runs to greet him. my son is a very social baby in general he goes to people he met them for the first time and let them hold him and play with him. If you are dreading going back to work at the end of maternity leave or, indeed, know anyone going through the same who might get a little kick out of this . From my experience (I have 2 girls, ages 4 yrs and 16 mths) and this problem passes. But when I worked at being breezy, he seemed to want to be around me again. Its the opposite of what you think. And even use the same child care you plan to use when you go back to work, if possible. Fertility benefits increase loyalty, productivity, and fulfillment. Starting earlier is sometimes suggested to prevent bottle refusal. You can also search for adoption support groups and workshops where you live, to connect with other parents in your situation. Then I have my daughter four years later, and she is the same way, and she was born vaginally, immediately placed skin to skin, and I never worked or was separated from her. They fidget a lot or hate getting messy. But I see no end to this..I will never forgive myself for missing out on all those beautiful beautiful moments that I have been robbed off. Mine is something similar. Im a teacher so am home most days quite early so do see a lot of her. Also get yourself a baby sling and carry her around as much as you can while running around. I found the update posts from those parents who were in this situation and came out the other side especially helpful. She breaks her back trying to look for him when he leaves the room. I stayed until 11:30 every night to put her to bed and did everything else i was able to do. So chin up, head down. So everything stabilized for me. He is a very sweet baby, has a smile for everyone so I cannot understand why he acts like this with me, on the other hand my husband and my in-laws are obviously overjoyed to see that he is always smiling to them and acknowledging them. hi.. i am a mother of 6 month old twin boys. My relationship with my son isnt the same anymore. He tells me he wants me to leave and daddy to stay. What he really needs might be to have more fun and more time with his dad. Seems to prefer my husband comes home she runs to greet him before you meet the others the opposite his... 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